It’s summer, and when summer comes, the youth will organize. And when they do, it’s not just about fucking. No, the children of the sun and the dirt prefer to organize around music, and yummy drugs, and rank costumes. Nothing’s changed, and it never will. Yet even so, the trappings are unique, unique enough to inspire comment.
Look: Let me tell you about Emergnsee, a festival which takes place annually in the woods of the Pacific Northwest, a festival three hundred fifty strong, set on a farm near Salem, Oregon, about an hour outside of Portland, a bizarre and momentous event that took me back to my Santa Cruz hippie roots and made me feel at once an old troll, an outcast, a spiritualized dancehall follower, and an angry Jew who no one understands or worse, even notices.
I present my notes on the 2008 event to you, in their raw form – so you can feel like you were there too, at a toothless sort of Burning Man, deep in the dank Oregon hippie woods: stonerrific, bland, sweaty, vegetarianesque, and intensely cruel.
The patchwork pants are available . . .
The hemp hats are available . . .
The mohawks are available . . .
The faux-hawks are available . . .
Agave SYRUP. What is it? And why is it so prevalent? They’re selling Mate and Peanut Butter Bombs, rolled in nuts and dipped in chocolate and Jared, the kid in charge, has a card saying he sells “edible art” and he wants to have a show for his food. Let’s instead have some Organic Free Trade Coffee (sweetened by Agave) (there is no regular sugar anywhere at this festival)(put your coffee in your own Nalgene – please), then swim in a swimming hole in a common spiritual field solo-style praying to the sun, with holotropic breathing. Then it’s down to the “V-Spot” for a quick Organic salad (lettuce from Ralph’s will be summarily shot) and a quick 20 minute massage ($1 per min! Standard!) from “Celestial Bodywork,” which is being vended by a Callie, a curly-headed girl who loves FreqNasty who drove up here with 500 pills of “Molly” that she scored for $12 a pop (sell em for $20!) and what with the booth costing her $300, combined with the drug money that’s nine bills, a chunky chunk a’ change to lay down, but it’s okay because she works four days a week at the airport doing chair massage on tired stressed out Alaskan businessmen with a roll of tired flab coating their greater omentums and unerringly slim upper trapeziuses, twisted with flaring, persistent trigger points.
In between clients, Callie’s hula-hooping (they can be made collapsible! $15) (from Spinsterz!) (find them next to the Chakra-colored tapestry that’s orange and blue and says “Black Sheep” on it). Her athleticism consitutes an admirable feat considering that only last night she was roiling drunk, ecstatic, nearly falling down, on tins of cheap beer. But she is young, and she rebounds. Callie may be a talented massage therapist yet, though mildly egotistical about her own talents: “I wish I could massage myself. That would be, so cool.” Her giant purplized amethyst crystals surround a Fred Meyer-bought Buddha – they look like giant speakers, beautiful and stupid. And speaking of big-ass speakers, there are no less than three separate sound systems here (one is a geodesic dome, natch), all blaring their own agenda-laden music, music of the left, of the young, of the high, of the beautiful.
Those with good cheekbones and blonde-girl dreads and, on the male side, charisma, beards, small kicky hats (or fedoras that have been spraypainted, and adorned with feathers/bells). A good body is not all that necessary for the guys; yet, it doesn’t hurt and there’s a kid with his hair in one long pigtail braided like an Indian who has a flat sexual belly and his pants slung low on his ass who is getting major drool time from Lola, hailing from Seattle and knitting Red Riding Hood hats with plastic darning needles as she smokes a drum or occasionally mint tobacco from a hookah: “I just drooled . . . I think we all did . . . I’m so proud of us.”
The mildly rotund Lola is sexy (she’s 22 and eats only New Zealand butter, how could she not be) but she is basically below the bar for male worship; most of the girls here are instead highly fuckable and in fact truly beautiful girls, a bit dirty about the face and hairy about the underarm but that’s how we like them; at a festival, there are almost always a disproportionate number of absurdly gorgeous women, and it prompts this ex-pornographer to at least consider the parallels between here and San Fernando’s Valley . . . Callie again coming to mind (from a broken home, displaying an evident taste for cheap booze, plenty of “Molly,” being out of control, and, one might assume, a steady influx of male attention), but this observation is not limited to Callie. For a guy with a blazing hard-on, he’s seeing twins, body doubles: porn and the ultra-hippies, just that these women in the forest of Salem are dressed up in Elf Wear, big old boots (mocassin boots for Callie), knitted hats that come to a point and have long, long, long, long trails, halter tops betraying flat stomachs, nose rings, tribalesque tattoos, tattoos stolen from other traditions, bizarre coats that look medieval yet are made out of a flexible foam-like fabric, necklaces with burnished pendants that show engraved mandalas.
Mostly mandalas are circular, pointless, lovely things to look at while on drugs. Blown-glass earrings, giant holes in their ears, pieces of wood in their ears, clean dreadlocks, little tie-dyed batik shirts worn over tights worn over boots, babies with elfin eyes, babies that are good, babies wearing floppy pants with some shit in them, bell-bottoms, silver bracelets with emerald stones, tattoos of suns smiling, meaningless black arm circles (tribal), tats on the lower back, a tree blossoming into a field of raisins (that’s what it looks like!) , but the point is to look good while you’re getting fucked – even psychedelia bows to the lords of wanting to look good while naked and taking on an eleven-inch cock. But perhaps I am . . . cynical?
A suitcase full of glass-blown pipes. Swirling colors, lots of purples, pinks, orange pipes. They make clinking sounds as they are dropped by Samuel, a jeweler-glassblower from 82nd and Killingsworth, who’s got a brown hand-painted trucker cap with a peacock feather sticking out, he is shirtless and has a big cross tattoo that covers his entire back, slightly flabby belly, and a spooked, friendly, open eyed surprised smile, although nothing’s surprising or even really happening right now.
The vendors are sellling:
-Fake hair wraps (dreadlocks that look like moss)
-Peacock feathers/ tooth bling
-Hula-hooping (around your knees while wearing slave sandals)
-Elfin hats, fabric-like corsets, the sexual-medieval inside the forest, another time and an other culture
-The MACA – energy without caffeine! Hormone free Rejuvenating therapy (this is basically just chocolate), Adrenal Balance, Enhances Sexual Function, Super Food of the Inca, (er, they got killed by Pizarro, Maca or not) (And that reminds me, as I scrawl this on top of an open stump – the absurd fascination with the year 2012, an anti-intellectualism , the world as run by non-Jews, these are Christians gone Pagan . . this is the playground of the 20 year olds.)
“Anti-Viral Honey”
− All cigarettes are American Spirit. There are no Marlboros allowed.
− Baton, ie, “Furry Staff”
− “Heathen” is the name of one booth . . . more clothing . .
Basically, we have four categories:
− Fashion
− Food (Nori Veggie Wraps and the latest in pickled kraut)
− Pipes (some made out of Quartz crystals)
− Crystals themselves (gathered by Nepalis, bought by dreadie white people, in this particular case, from New Zealand.)
“I think in some simultaneous lifetime, I’m like a massive, like, amethyst geode - just, y’know, chillin.”
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